Goodbye Kigali

I can still remember the first time I entered my host family’s house, the first language lesson, the first day of work. I felt uncertain, alone and a bit uncomfortable. Well, that certainly did change. I’ve come a long way since the first day – to the point where I’m not ready to leave! During my last week here I have done countless visits and had some visitors over too (my first all year actually!), spoken Kinyarwanda often, and mastered welcoming visitors with food and drink and accompanying them to the main road after. My comfort within the culture and the fact that I had people to visit makes me so happy. I was incredibly touched and blessed by the words of thanksgiving, good wishes and gifts, that people bestowed on me during our final visit together. People don’t have much money here, but it’s custom to go all out when people leave (with food and honorary speeches) – and I was the humble and grateful recipient of lots of Fanta, meat, kind words and souvenir gifts. I tried my best to express my thanks for these friends as well with a small gift and kind words as well. I can’t even begin to say how sweet (yet busy) this week was.

The English teacher (Augustin), me and his wife

The visits to say goodbye began a week ago when I went to visit my English co-teacher’s house where 5 of his 8 kids honored me with a unique piece of theater and some traditional dance. His wife was quite friendly and good at French so we spent lots of time conversing and “speech-giving”. If you’re ever in a low mood, the people here know how to praise you and thank you for what you’ve done and it would cheer you right up!

Then I had one day off (work but no visits) before I did a whole day of visiting students (not specifically related to my depart – our program periodically visits students) which involved lots of walking, eating at each of the 3 homes, and mostly sitting around while others talked. It was a bit more meaningful than it sounds, though, because I got to see some of my students’ homes, bond with them and they were touched that I came. It’s amazing how something that seems so easy and small on my part (walking slowly in the sun in between homes, spending time in their homes mostly just sitting) is something that is so appreciated. Sometimes it’s nice not knowing the language fully because I don’t need to come up with words to say in every situation.

Wednesday was similarly busy with 3 personal visits in the afternoon, although luckily the first 2 were with friends (Joyce and Cecile) so they each involved chatting not speech-giving (although I did down 2 fantas that afternoon). The last visit required conversation and speeches in French which was a good challenge!

On Thursday we had our final MwanaNshuti football match and I had a blast playing with Espee (and the others). Either because it was my last day or because the English teacher joined in for the first time and increased the level of play, we said the game “arashushe” (literally: “was hot”!). It was so good that I lost track of time and showed up (with the other teachers) one hour late to my own Friends Peace House farewell ‘party.’ Oops. To be honest football was one of the highlights of my time with the students and something I will miss a lot – so I didn’t feel TOO bad about being late. We’re on African time, right?!?

wearing the "you are special" stickers proudly on their foreheads :)

Friday, the last day of school, involved handing off a bunch of materials and a final Mwana Nshuti farewell. (We had done a sort of farewell/fun day the week before with a video of photos and movie clips and American-style donuts so this one was short.) They gave me many gifts and there were several speeches of thanks. I gave another impromptu speech and read them You are Special (the Max Lucado book with Punchinello) and gave them each a couple smiley face stickers which they loved. 

When we finished I showed them how we say goodbye to friends in the US (with a hug, not the Rwandan pat on the side of the arm and handshake) so I gave lots of hugs. And then they were gone. Well…most of them…a group of 12 or so were lingering behind and among them were several of my favorite students so I decided to accompany them a bit down the road to say goodbye. As I turned around to leave, they didn’t want me to go so they followed me back to school “to accompany” me. I was ok with that because I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye either. Also, I had brought some supplies for making crafts so we cut and decorated paper hearts and made friendship bracelets. When we finished, they were happy and I let them accompany me to my road where I bid them a final goodbye.

showing off their paper hearts

After a day of rest and my first pedicure ever on Saturday, I went back into social and good-bye mode on Sunday. The official goodbyes for Joyce and a few co-workers were unavoidable after church ended, but not being at anyone’s home they were short and sweet. That’s good, no tears. Then I went home for my host family’s goodbye event: a feast and kakaweti (like a secret Santa gift exchange that people play for special occasions, not just Christmas!). One of the students, Espee, came to visit so she got to join in the fun and laughter that we shared that afternoon. I like when goodbyes aren’t serious or sad affairs.

my whole host family (including the married children who don't live at home)
was around for our game and final afternoon together

a final (surprise) goodbye. i was happy.

This morning (Monday) we packed up my bags and I took a final walk down my road – taking photos and saying goodbye to a couple women I always greet. Just as we were about to pull out I saw a group of my students entering the church compound. I wasn’t expecting it at all and it was so sweet to see them all again smiling, waving goodbye and saying “I will never forget you Bethany!” One more round of smiles and lots of hugs (+handshake, of course), and I was off. Goodbye Kigali. I will miss your beauty, your people and your culture (for the most part).

This week makes me think about how God puts people in our lives and takes others away. During this year there were a couple people I liked who then suddenly moved away without my knowing it and I never saw them again. I managed to see many students again after our farewell on Friday (even saw Espee twice after Friday – who would have thought!) but I wonder if I will see them again. Is that what’s meant to be after my effort to learn the language and build relationships with people? I’m weighing the possible ways to return to Rwanda but it’ll be good to be at home for a bit to see if that’s what I really want or if I’m just feeling the good-bye blues. If nothing else, it seems that people have appreciated my photos this year…so maybe I will come back and start a photo business J