Goodbye Kigali

I can still remember the first time I entered my host family’s house, the first language lesson, the first day of work. I felt uncertain, alone and a bit uncomfortable. Well, that certainly did change. I’ve come a long way since the first day – to the point where I’m not ready to leave! During my last week here I have done countless visits and had some visitors over too (my first all year actually!), spoken Kinyarwanda often, and mastered welcoming visitors with food and drink and accompanying them to the main road after. My comfort within the culture and the fact that I had people to visit makes me so happy. I was incredibly touched and blessed by the words of thanksgiving, good wishes and gifts, that people bestowed on me during our final visit together. People don’t have much money here, but it’s custom to go all out when people leave (with food and honorary speeches) – and I was the humble and grateful recipient of lots of Fanta, meat, kind words and souvenir gifts. I tried my best to express my thanks for these friends as well with a small gift and kind words as well. I can’t even begin to say how sweet (yet busy) this week was.

The English teacher (Augustin), me and his wife

The visits to say goodbye began a week ago when I went to visit my English co-teacher’s house where 5 of his 8 kids honored me with a unique piece of theater and some traditional dance. His wife was quite friendly and good at French so we spent lots of time conversing and “speech-giving”. If you’re ever in a low mood, the people here know how to praise you and thank you for what you’ve done and it would cheer you right up!

Then I had one day off (work but no visits) before I did a whole day of visiting students (not specifically related to my depart – our program periodically visits students) which involved lots of walking, eating at each of the 3 homes, and mostly sitting around while others talked. It was a bit more meaningful than it sounds, though, because I got to see some of my students’ homes, bond with them and they were touched that I came. It’s amazing how something that seems so easy and small on my part (walking slowly in the sun in between homes, spending time in their homes mostly just sitting) is something that is so appreciated. Sometimes it’s nice not knowing the language fully because I don’t need to come up with words to say in every situation.

Wednesday was similarly busy with 3 personal visits in the afternoon, although luckily the first 2 were with friends (Joyce and Cecile) so they each involved chatting not speech-giving (although I did down 2 fantas that afternoon). The last visit required conversation and speeches in French which was a good challenge!

On Thursday we had our final MwanaNshuti football match and I had a blast playing with Espee (and the others). Either because it was my last day or because the English teacher joined in for the first time and increased the level of play, we said the game “arashushe” (literally: “was hot”!). It was so good that I lost track of time and showed up (with the other teachers) one hour late to my own Friends Peace House farewell ‘party.’ Oops. To be honest football was one of the highlights of my time with the students and something I will miss a lot – so I didn’t feel TOO bad about being late. We’re on African time, right?!?

wearing the "you are special" stickers proudly on their foreheads :)

Friday, the last day of school, involved handing off a bunch of materials and a final Mwana Nshuti farewell. (We had done a sort of farewell/fun day the week before with a video of photos and movie clips and American-style donuts so this one was short.) They gave me many gifts and there were several speeches of thanks. I gave another impromptu speech and read them You are Special (the Max Lucado book with Punchinello) and gave them each a couple smiley face stickers which they loved. 

When we finished I showed them how we say goodbye to friends in the US (with a hug, not the Rwandan pat on the side of the arm and handshake) so I gave lots of hugs. And then they were gone. Well…most of them…a group of 12 or so were lingering behind and among them were several of my favorite students so I decided to accompany them a bit down the road to say goodbye. As I turned around to leave, they didn’t want me to go so they followed me back to school “to accompany” me. I was ok with that because I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye either. Also, I had brought some supplies for making crafts so we cut and decorated paper hearts and made friendship bracelets. When we finished, they were happy and I let them accompany me to my road where I bid them a final goodbye.

showing off their paper hearts

After a day of rest and my first pedicure ever on Saturday, I went back into social and good-bye mode on Sunday. The official goodbyes for Joyce and a few co-workers were unavoidable after church ended, but not being at anyone’s home they were short and sweet. That’s good, no tears. Then I went home for my host family’s goodbye event: a feast and kakaweti (like a secret Santa gift exchange that people play for special occasions, not just Christmas!). One of the students, Espee, came to visit so she got to join in the fun and laughter that we shared that afternoon. I like when goodbyes aren’t serious or sad affairs.

my whole host family (including the married children who don't live at home)
was around for our game and final afternoon together

a final (surprise) goodbye. i was happy.

This morning (Monday) we packed up my bags and I took a final walk down my road – taking photos and saying goodbye to a couple women I always greet. Just as we were about to pull out I saw a group of my students entering the church compound. I wasn’t expecting it at all and it was so sweet to see them all again smiling, waving goodbye and saying “I will never forget you Bethany!” One more round of smiles and lots of hugs (+handshake, of course), and I was off. Goodbye Kigali. I will miss your beauty, your people and your culture (for the most part).

This week makes me think about how God puts people in our lives and takes others away. During this year there were a couple people I liked who then suddenly moved away without my knowing it and I never saw them again. I managed to see many students again after our farewell on Friday (even saw Espee twice after Friday – who would have thought!) but I wonder if I will see them again. Is that what’s meant to be after my effort to learn the language and build relationships with people? I’m weighing the possible ways to return to Rwanda but it’ll be good to be at home for a bit to see if that’s what I really want or if I’m just feeling the good-bye blues. If nothing else, it seems that people have appreciated my photos this year…so maybe I will come back and start a photo business J

it's moments like these that make me never want to leave

July 4^th. Independence day in the US. It’s also Liberation day (i.e. end of the 1994 genocide) in Rwanda. And July 1^st was Rwandan Independence day (50^th anniversary) so there was a big celebration for both in the stadium. Not liking crowds and not really wanting to go as a white person, I was happy my host family didn’t go either. We watched a bit on TV from home.

At home today is a day many people are “proud to be an American”, where patriotism, fireworks at BBQs take the day. I’ve never been very patriotic and especially now that I’m in Rwanda and I’m used to the way of life here I don’t really want to associate with “American pride”. It’s sometimes hard to reconcile the huge differences between our cultures and countries. I still don’t know what to think, do or say about it…I just pray that everyone can lead a good life.

Today also marks 2 weeks until I board an airplane to come home, where I will be forced to re-adjust (maybe not reconcile) to those differences. I certainly have things I am really looking forward to but I anticipate it might be a hard transition. You never know how reverse culture shock will hit you.

But in the mean time, I’m not counting down the days - rather they are running away from me! I do not like goodbyes so I think I’m subconsciously avoiding that. I am trying to take photos of the ordinary life and my coworkers and things so I’ll have that to keep. Next week will probably be crazy with last minute visits to friends and saying goodbye. I’m telling people that I will try really hard to come back; I haven’t decided if I am ready or would enjoy working here long term but I certainly had a great year.

Yesterday was a good day. I spent some time with my students (not teaching though) and at the end of the day I was thinking “it’s moments like these that make me never want to leave”. I told them that yesterday was the final day to take photos and tell me which ones they want so I’m not stressed about that last minute. Boy do those girls love photos! I’ve tried getting them to do that in English and yesterday there were several students who asked if they could come “visit me” (in the classroom) to take care of that. They were doing such a good job of speaking and helping one or two who couldn’t, even taking initiative in English and talking to each other a bit in English, that we were all laughing and happy at their success. They also saw the quote on the poster I made to leave with them “If you see far, you will go far” and were asking about that. I wanted to leave them with encouragement and picked that quote, but the English teacher will have to help me explain it to them better!

In the afternoon the second group of students came in to finish photo stuff or just to hang out and when I stepped away from my computer they all gathered even closer and tried mimicking what I do to try to see more photos or something. None of them know anything about computers but I showed them how to open someone’s folder and see the photos so they then had to go through everyone’s photos who was present – doing it all by themselves this time! They were so happy that they stayed 30 minutes past when the others went home and we were all in good spirits. As we were leaving together, they asked me to accompany them (meaning walk a little ways together – it’s common culturally to accompany your visitor out to the main road or walk with people for a few minutes). I wasn’t going that way but was having such a good time with them – and we all realize my time here is so short – that I agreed and they all cheered! So we had fun talking a bit and walking together, and they even showed me a shortcut from school to near another friend’s house, which would have been fun to know about earlier.

This year has really been one about (slowly) learning to set aside my plans, trust God, and rejoice in the moment of time spent with others. Since it is standard not to have things go according to plan, I’ve had many opportunities to try to get used to this. For example, I had some things they (and I) wanted me to finish at work before leaving but the pastor's wife passed away last week so no one has gotten any work done recently. So my "to do" list won't be finished - but Rebecca, the director of MCC, was telling me yesterday that it isn't a problem...so you can see I still struggle to set aside my goals and plans! 

I can certainly say that at times the unexpected changes and time with people can be the most rewarding, and I am thankful for many such memories from this past year.