Goodbye Kigali

I can still remember the first time I entered my host family’s house, the first language lesson, the first day of work. I felt uncertain, alone and a bit uncomfortable. Well, that certainly did change. I’ve come a long way since the first day – to the point where I’m not ready to leave! During my last week here I have done countless visits and had some visitors over too (my first all year actually!), spoken Kinyarwanda often, and mastered welcoming visitors with food and drink and accompanying them to the main road after. My comfort within the culture and the fact that I had people to visit makes me so happy. I was incredibly touched and blessed by the words of thanksgiving, good wishes and gifts, that people bestowed on me during our final visit together. People don’t have much money here, but it’s custom to go all out when people leave (with food and honorary speeches) – and I was the humble and grateful recipient of lots of Fanta, meat, kind words and souvenir gifts. I tried my best to express my thanks for these friends as well with a small gift and kind words as well. I can’t even begin to say how sweet (yet busy) this week was.

The English teacher (Augustin), me and his wife

The visits to say goodbye began a week ago when I went to visit my English co-teacher’s house where 5 of his 8 kids honored me with a unique piece of theater and some traditional dance. His wife was quite friendly and good at French so we spent lots of time conversing and “speech-giving”. If you’re ever in a low mood, the people here know how to praise you and thank you for what you’ve done and it would cheer you right up!

Then I had one day off (work but no visits) before I did a whole day of visiting students (not specifically related to my depart – our program periodically visits students) which involved lots of walking, eating at each of the 3 homes, and mostly sitting around while others talked. It was a bit more meaningful than it sounds, though, because I got to see some of my students’ homes, bond with them and they were touched that I came. It’s amazing how something that seems so easy and small on my part (walking slowly in the sun in between homes, spending time in their homes mostly just sitting) is something that is so appreciated. Sometimes it’s nice not knowing the language fully because I don’t need to come up with words to say in every situation.

Wednesday was similarly busy with 3 personal visits in the afternoon, although luckily the first 2 were with friends (Joyce and Cecile) so they each involved chatting not speech-giving (although I did down 2 fantas that afternoon). The last visit required conversation and speeches in French which was a good challenge!

On Thursday we had our final MwanaNshuti football match and I had a blast playing with Espee (and the others). Either because it was my last day or because the English teacher joined in for the first time and increased the level of play, we said the game “arashushe” (literally: “was hot”!). It was so good that I lost track of time and showed up (with the other teachers) one hour late to my own Friends Peace House farewell ‘party.’ Oops. To be honest football was one of the highlights of my time with the students and something I will miss a lot – so I didn’t feel TOO bad about being late. We’re on African time, right?!?

wearing the "you are special" stickers proudly on their foreheads :)

Friday, the last day of school, involved handing off a bunch of materials and a final Mwana Nshuti farewell. (We had done a sort of farewell/fun day the week before with a video of photos and movie clips and American-style donuts so this one was short.) They gave me many gifts and there were several speeches of thanks. I gave another impromptu speech and read them You are Special (the Max Lucado book with Punchinello) and gave them each a couple smiley face stickers which they loved. 

When we finished I showed them how we say goodbye to friends in the US (with a hug, not the Rwandan pat on the side of the arm and handshake) so I gave lots of hugs. And then they were gone. Well…most of them…a group of 12 or so were lingering behind and among them were several of my favorite students so I decided to accompany them a bit down the road to say goodbye. As I turned around to leave, they didn’t want me to go so they followed me back to school “to accompany” me. I was ok with that because I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye either. Also, I had brought some supplies for making crafts so we cut and decorated paper hearts and made friendship bracelets. When we finished, they were happy and I let them accompany me to my road where I bid them a final goodbye.

showing off their paper hearts

After a day of rest and my first pedicure ever on Saturday, I went back into social and good-bye mode on Sunday. The official goodbyes for Joyce and a few co-workers were unavoidable after church ended, but not being at anyone’s home they were short and sweet. That’s good, no tears. Then I went home for my host family’s goodbye event: a feast and kakaweti (like a secret Santa gift exchange that people play for special occasions, not just Christmas!). One of the students, Espee, came to visit so she got to join in the fun and laughter that we shared that afternoon. I like when goodbyes aren’t serious or sad affairs.

my whole host family (including the married children who don't live at home)
was around for our game and final afternoon together

a final (surprise) goodbye. i was happy.

This morning (Monday) we packed up my bags and I took a final walk down my road – taking photos and saying goodbye to a couple women I always greet. Just as we were about to pull out I saw a group of my students entering the church compound. I wasn’t expecting it at all and it was so sweet to see them all again smiling, waving goodbye and saying “I will never forget you Bethany!” One more round of smiles and lots of hugs (+handshake, of course), and I was off. Goodbye Kigali. I will miss your beauty, your people and your culture (for the most part).

This week makes me think about how God puts people in our lives and takes others away. During this year there were a couple people I liked who then suddenly moved away without my knowing it and I never saw them again. I managed to see many students again after our farewell on Friday (even saw Espee twice after Friday – who would have thought!) but I wonder if I will see them again. Is that what’s meant to be after my effort to learn the language and build relationships with people? I’m weighing the possible ways to return to Rwanda but it’ll be good to be at home for a bit to see if that’s what I really want or if I’m just feeling the good-bye blues. If nothing else, it seems that people have appreciated my photos this year…so maybe I will come back and start a photo business J

it's moments like these that make me never want to leave

July 4^th. Independence day in the US. It’s also Liberation day (i.e. end of the 1994 genocide) in Rwanda. And July 1^st was Rwandan Independence day (50^th anniversary) so there was a big celebration for both in the stadium. Not liking crowds and not really wanting to go as a white person, I was happy my host family didn’t go either. We watched a bit on TV from home.

At home today is a day many people are “proud to be an American”, where patriotism, fireworks at BBQs take the day. I’ve never been very patriotic and especially now that I’m in Rwanda and I’m used to the way of life here I don’t really want to associate with “American pride”. It’s sometimes hard to reconcile the huge differences between our cultures and countries. I still don’t know what to think, do or say about it…I just pray that everyone can lead a good life.

Today also marks 2 weeks until I board an airplane to come home, where I will be forced to re-adjust (maybe not reconcile) to those differences. I certainly have things I am really looking forward to but I anticipate it might be a hard transition. You never know how reverse culture shock will hit you.

But in the mean time, I’m not counting down the days - rather they are running away from me! I do not like goodbyes so I think I’m subconsciously avoiding that. I am trying to take photos of the ordinary life and my coworkers and things so I’ll have that to keep. Next week will probably be crazy with last minute visits to friends and saying goodbye. I’m telling people that I will try really hard to come back; I haven’t decided if I am ready or would enjoy working here long term but I certainly had a great year.

Yesterday was a good day. I spent some time with my students (not teaching though) and at the end of the day I was thinking “it’s moments like these that make me never want to leave”. I told them that yesterday was the final day to take photos and tell me which ones they want so I’m not stressed about that last minute. Boy do those girls love photos! I’ve tried getting them to do that in English and yesterday there were several students who asked if they could come “visit me” (in the classroom) to take care of that. They were doing such a good job of speaking and helping one or two who couldn’t, even taking initiative in English and talking to each other a bit in English, that we were all laughing and happy at their success. They also saw the quote on the poster I made to leave with them “If you see far, you will go far” and were asking about that. I wanted to leave them with encouragement and picked that quote, but the English teacher will have to help me explain it to them better!

In the afternoon the second group of students came in to finish photo stuff or just to hang out and when I stepped away from my computer they all gathered even closer and tried mimicking what I do to try to see more photos or something. None of them know anything about computers but I showed them how to open someone’s folder and see the photos so they then had to go through everyone’s photos who was present – doing it all by themselves this time! They were so happy that they stayed 30 minutes past when the others went home and we were all in good spirits. As we were leaving together, they asked me to accompany them (meaning walk a little ways together – it’s common culturally to accompany your visitor out to the main road or walk with people for a few minutes). I wasn’t going that way but was having such a good time with them – and we all realize my time here is so short – that I agreed and they all cheered! So we had fun talking a bit and walking together, and they even showed me a shortcut from school to near another friend’s house, which would have been fun to know about earlier.

This year has really been one about (slowly) learning to set aside my plans, trust God, and rejoice in the moment of time spent with others. Since it is standard not to have things go according to plan, I’ve had many opportunities to try to get used to this. For example, I had some things they (and I) wanted me to finish at work before leaving but the pastor's wife passed away last week so no one has gotten any work done recently. So my "to do" list won't be finished - but Rebecca, the director of MCC, was telling me yesterday that it isn't a problem...so you can see I still struggle to set aside my goals and plans! 

I can certainly say that at times the unexpected changes and time with people can be the most rewarding, and I am thankful for many such memories from this past year.

Time's Running Out!

I’ve been here 10 months and the time seems to have gone by so quickly. I can’t believe it; I’m really not ready to go yet. It might be partly because I’m about to leave, but I feel like I’m getting things done in the office, enjoying and doing a good job at teaching, helping a little, and continuing to build relationships with people. Now that people know I’m leaving in under 4 weeks (ok closer to 3 but I don’t want to say it!) it’s certainly time to make the most of the time that’s left. As the English teacher likes to say, “Time is money.”

So things are going well; I’m trying to balance time with people in the office, down at MwanaNshuti, seeing others, and taking some time to myself (and hopefully get more job applications in). Work highlights have been good steps organizationally in the office and English class and finally “co-teaching” the way it should be. Collaborating. Talking. Good stuff. Maybe I will leave behind a little something that is noticeable.

It’s going to be a sad day when I leave my students. Even several of the ones I don’t speak with that much (they are shy or not comfortable in English) have told me they will be sad to see me go. I’ve heard that too much the past week and it’s making it even harder for me to think about leaving. So I’m trying to prepare fun lessons, do things we haven’t done yet (kickball didn’t work out so well on the first attempt but watching “Bend it like Beckham” was a huge hit!), and of course taking more photos and laughing a lot. The students’ phrase of the week was “It’s okay.” Apparently I say it a lot and Fatuma has helped them all catch on and they love imitating me. It makes me laugh, and I like laughing, so we all have fun.

Random recent highlights:

        

New dress = good day to take photos with the students!

 ~Getting my dress from Samuel (sewing teacher at MwanaNshuti) – and a million compliments (I don’t usually “dress up” as most of you know!)

Mail system in Kigali - PO boxes

           ~I got a package from home! (Thanks Mom!) It was also my first time to check the mail here in Kigali (thanks Ruth and Annie for doing it usually). After, I went for ice cream and bought bread and cheese to bring back for lunches/snacks (local cheese is back after 3 months!). It was an exciting day.


  ~Going to do ‘umuganda’ (communal work day) with my students – talking with Espée on the way up and helping them dig/cut the grass (with a hoe!) despite their protests that I couldn’t or shouldn’t do it!

          ~Learning to cut corn off the stalks at MwanaNshuti with the other teachers (the angle is quite important…60 degrees not 90!)…and wondering how corn is harvested in the US!

Teachers hard at work (all 4 of us happened to be around at the same time! very rare)

The English teachers showing our work and
the corn Rwandans love.

         

          

~Going to visit our friend Esther (a teacher at a nice girls’ school in the village kinda) – a good time to relax, play games (pass the pigs and Dutch Blitz!) and do some logic puzzles, everything I love!

          ~Teaching Joyce’s kids how to play Snakes and Ladders on a homemade board. Jessica (age 8) and Joyce loved it and Bridget (age 4) had fun rolling the die, counting to 10 in English and randomly setting her marker down near ours (or often on the same square as me). It was cute.

Gotta learn and do these things while I can! I’m hoping there will be more fun memories like that in the next couple weeks before I go. I certainly wish I could “do more” for my students and (often) I really wish I could finish the school year with them, but I realize there really isn’t a lot I can do for them and because of the language barrier - I can’t really talk with them about their lives, problems at home or their hopes for the future. So I’m trying to set aside my desires and things I had hoped (or still hope) to accomplish and entrust my friends and students into God’s hands. And my future too, I suppose. After all, we could be in no better place.

A photo with 3 sweet girls who live 2+ hours away from school!
(Ok people here don't walk fast, but still...although who blames them for going slowly if they have that far to go!?!)

Beautiful smiles girls, thank you!

Group shot - back to no smiles of course...

If you see far, you will go far

In exactly one month and one week I will be leaving Kigali. Forever, or maybe not. I don't really know where I will end up - which is a bit stressful - or if I'll come back here one day. I'm trying to be okay with the uncertainties and finish my time here so I will feel good about leaving and not have any regrets. So I've made a (fairly long) list of tasks to accomplish at work and a (shorter) list of things to do and people to spend time with in Kigali before I go. I also have a long list of schools to apply for - please pray for energy, wisdom and guidance as I try to answer the questions and submit applications. If nothing else I have been incredibly thankful to see some job opportunities (math teaching in Chicago) and have an unlimited internet modem in my possession for the past month or so. Work-wise, my list of tasks is too long for the amount of time I have with my co-workers (who seem to be increasingly hard to find in the office) so I need to let go of many of my optimistic "maybe i could do this before i leave..." and stick with the priorities. And possibly nail Jonas to his chair when he gets back :) jk

Although hard to capture on photo, Mutoni's smile
and jokes are frequent parts of days at MwanaNshuti.

Although the office/administrative support part of my job hasn't been moving far this past month, teaching has been going well. It is a rare treat for a teacher to have so many students who want to learn so badly and are eager participants in class- I should soak this up before I go home and teach HS math!! Their desire to know English has begun to spill outside of class and I have had many occasions to smile (like a proud parent perhaps) as I watch them attempt English outside of class. For example, their favorite pastime (when I allow it) is having me take their photo but now they must ask in English. This often results in a bit of chattering among the students until one can remind the others how to say "I need a photo." (They found this phrase on their own, maybe I will teach them a politer question next week...) Not speaking much Kinyarwanda is beneficial for their English learning, because often they have to find a way to say what they want to say in English for me to understand. This usually involves teamwork between the students to find the right words, although some students have already been unofficially elected as spokesmen for the others (the handful who are clearly stronger in English). But given some have only been studying English for 3 months, 4 hours a week, I appreciate any and all attempts. Mutoni (pictured at sewing machine) is such a talkative and carefree girl and I wish I could stay long enough for her to learn enough English so I could understand what she says - it seems to often be something ridiculous as she makes the students laugh often. For now, Mutoni usually speaks to me through Esperance.

I love hearing Espee's laugh and seeing
her eager face in lessons and on the
soccer field. She also often tells
other students what to do in English :)

Esperance (Espée, shown on the right), of all the girls in the program, is one of the brightest, most friendly and responsible yet also strong and spirited girls (i.e. someone who isn't afraid to say what she thinks, rather than the common trait of girls who are quiet, submissive and don't speak their mind). I like her a lot. She is excellent at English (compared to the others) so we actually had a 1-on-1 conversation the other day which was great. She has finished 3 years of secondary school (equivalent of 7-9th grade) and I really hope there will be a way for her to return to school soon and graduate. In Rwanda you need to choose a program of study (math/science, humanities, literature, languages, accounting, nursing, etc.) to study and Espee says she wants to study nursing or accounting. I believe she could do it if she had the chance!

"If you see far, you will go far." 

I plan to share this quote with my students soon because I really want them to begin to develop a dream or a vision for their life. I know their lives are difficult and "going somewhere" might be difficult or near impossible. But if they don't dream then it will be virtually impossible for them to do something whereas if they "see far" they might just have a chance to reach that dream.

I heard this quote from the director of an inspiring project for street children in Kigali called "Les Enfants de Dieu" (children of God). His program receives boys who are living on the streets, and provides education, lodging and a community until they are socialized enough to be able to attend a school in the vicinity. The most stunning part of the program was the way it is run; there are 8 boys who are elected ministers who each  oversee one of the aspects of the center and have absolute decision-making power (in terms of budgeting and project planning). Every expense must be approved by the appropriate Minister before a staff member can purchase it and a new project idea must be approved by the Ministers as well (even a project suggested by the director of the center). If they say no, it won't happen (unless the director can convince them to change their mind) - so a few projects he suggested haven't gone through.

Rafiki, director of "Les Enfants de Dieu", standing next to
the door of their initial building - a testimony to "where it all began."

The Director told us that he wants to counter the common belief among street children that they are worthless ("nul" In French) and how better to do that than to give them responsibility and trust them in that position. The coordinator of Friends Peace House (where I work) had a hard time believing that was possible or wise, but I affirm this. The director gives the kids a small way to "see far" and begin to steer their lives in a good direction where they will be able to "go far" one day.


The problems many Rwandese face are not problems that can easily (or perhaps ever) be overcome. Sometimes this weighs me down. But I like the thought of slowly empowering children, youth and adults to see their value and then to be able to dream and envision a good future for themselves or their children. That's one of the strongest hopes I have for the young people here - especially my students. My role in this is so little.

I believe it's time to share these hopes with my students - and tell them I'm leaving soon - and begin to cross things off my bucket list in Kigali...hopefully there will be some fun and more memories made in the midst of the seriousness and reality that I'm leaving in 5 weeks.

Letting Go

Being here in Rwanda has made me think a lot about who I am and what might be my “place” in life – what gifts I have and how and where best to use them – a ‘calling’ if you will. I’m thinking ahead to being back in the US in two months and wondering if I am going to be a math teacher in Chicago like I had always assumed/planned, or teach internationally, or maybe one day I will go live in Africa, for example, for longer than just a month or a year. As the options are endless, the future seems a bit daunting to me. I used to think that after I graduated college I’d have a clear sense of where I wanted to go with my life but now I’m realizing how that might never happen, so I’m letting go of my desire to know where I will be in 1 or 5 or 10 years. Why not just focus on the present and the near future and trust God’s guidance in that?

I’ve been thinking about the future because I’m realizing how little time I have left here. In 7 weeks I will be heading to Bujumbura and a few days later I’ll be on an airplane for Pennsylvania. I’m looking forward to being home to see my friends and family but I have been asking myself if I am ready to leave here. I have come to know and love many people here that will be hard to say goodbye to. Letting go of people in my life is hard – I recently lost my grandmother, and soon I might leave my friends in Rwanda forever. Also I wonder if I have really accomplished much of anything here…which is a hard thought to have. I guess I haven’t drastically influenced the way we teach English at MwanaNshuti, greatly improved our director’s report-writing or organization skills, or given the students all the confidence and skills they will need to live a successful life, but maybe I have made some small steps in these places. I hope so.

Perhaps this experience for me is more about learning to let go of my preconceived notions, plans, and control in my life…and let God and others enter in. That is especially relevant here where I am living and co-teaching in a cultural context much different than my own, where I could easily (and sometimes do) get frustrated about the way things happen.

In the moments where I have let go of accomplishing something big and noticeable, or doing things my own way, in my own time, I am often blessed to see God at work.

---My students trying to speak English on their own is somewhat rare and always brings a smile to my face. During our soccer game they tried to learn how to say and respond to: “You played well.” (“You too.” or “Thank you.”)

---I never know what games or activities my students will enjoy and will help them learn English, but last week I found a winner: BINGO. All the students copied the times into different places on their grids (we were studying telling time), I tried to explain how to play and what a bingo is, and I told them to say “I have bingo!” when they had a bingo. I figured we were ready. I read the first time and soon heard about 7 students saying eagerly, “I have bingo!” with bright smiles on their faces. They had found the time I said on their grid somewhere J. I laughed, congratulated them and kept going. This went on for the first 5 times or so, each time the students were excited to show me they had understood what I said and kept telling me they had “bingo”! It was so cute (and coincidentally showed me who was following and who wasn’t). Eventually I had to re-explain that “bingo” meant having a 5 in a row, and we did eventually have some winners.

--I hoped and prayed after our graduation in March that our training program would help the students be able to earn money or improve their life in some way…and one of my students from last year came back two days last week to use the sewing machines because she has found a few clients who want her to sew clothes for them! Way to go Marceline!

Happy Mother's Day

It’s been a bit busy since I’ve come back from Kenya two weeks ago, both at work and outside of work, which means that I have been away from home in the evening many more nights than usual – visiting Rwandan friends, going out to eat with MCCers, even going to a play(!!) produced by the international high school! But even if I’m not spending as much time with my host family, I’m still grateful for their hospitality, warm welcome, and concern - especially from my host mother.

I want to dedicate this blog to mothers and wish my mother and the new “mothers” I have this year a very happy mother’s day. [Mom- Though they could NEVER replace you, there are several women here who love and protect me here!] They have helped me learn the language, patiently bearing with my attempts to speak Kinyarwanda, and explained about the culture here in Rwanda (including that “You look fat!” is the equivalent of “You look good!” and is a compliment for women here). They have looked out for me, including not wanting me to walk alone when it’s dark (even though it isn’t dangerous when it’s early) and always wanting me to eat more food! Sometimes they have even told the teenage boys to leave me alone!! J But most importantly, we have shared with each other what is going on in our lives and some of our struggles or hopes. I appreciate the way these women have not treated me as an outsider or a visitor who is only here for a short time, and rather made an effort to build a relationship with me. I love them.

Last week I went to visit Joyce to help prepare for a very exciting occasion: her husband coming to visit from Canada where he is studying in university. He has been away 3 years but now he is home for a few months with his family – his beautiful wife, 8 year old and 4 year old daughters. Joyce let me come to help make decorations for his arrival – so we covered their living room wall with paper hearts and a welcome home banner! I’m so happy for all of them that he was finally able to come back to Rwanda.

Yesterday I went to visit Julienne and her family – she is a coworker who was recently married and had a baby so she is in the northern province of Rwanda with her husband. Aside from her current maternity leave, she usually stays in Kigali during the week and goes home on the weekend only – wow!  Travel isn’t very expensive here ($3 to go 2 hours outside of the city) but most people can’t afford it, at least not regularly, so I brought Julienne some gifts from her family in Kigali and something to give to another person who lives nearby. I hadn’t seen her for 2 months and hadn’t ever seen her home so I was excited to go. Julienne is a very fun woman and I’m happy she is married and has an adorable two month old baby girl (Pamela) and they have a nice house. I enjoyed seeing her life a bit, catching up, and holding her baby for the majority of the time I was there!! This made her husband ask me if I’m married yet and why not because I should be a mom! Haha. I do love children, that’s true.

I am so thankful for the many wonderful women in my life, both in the US and Rwanda, and their children too! Happy Mother’s Day!!! You are very inspiring to me.

Julienne and baby Pamela - look at all the hair Pamela has! 

Traveling Together

Now I have been to 4 of the 5 countries in the East African Community (Rwanda, Burundi, Uganda and KENYA! …just not Tanzania yet). Last week I attended the Quaker World Conference in Nakuru, Kenya with my entire host family and several of my co-workers (I’m a part of the Evangelical Friends Church here in Rwanda). It was an impressive gathering of some 850 people from across the world from Bolivia to North America to Kenya and other East African countries, to some parts of Asia and Europe. It was good to see people from so many backgrounds coming together to worship and discuss how we can be salt and light in our broken world. There was some tension amongst the different types of Quakers about worship style, theology, etc. but everyone graciously tried out both the quiet worship and the singing/dancing worship. (I should probably add that I’m quite happy being a Mennonite; though luckily the Quakers who found out I am actually Mennonite were accepting!)

It was interesting being at such a diverse conference and being able to understand some of the thoughts and perspectives of Westerners as well as the Rwandans/East Africans. For example, some North Americans were commenting about the accommodations (cold water, toilets) and saying how hard it is to see or hear about people facing such hardship in their lives as the people ‘here in Kenya’. As much as I think I have adapted to and grown accustomed to life here, I can still relate to what they were saying. Then there were my Rwandan friends who were confused about having silence during worship (and seemed happy when I told them I enjoy the “loud” church services I attend here in Kigali!). I also really enjoyed seeing how some of the Rwandans enjoyed people watching and hearing their comments of incredulity about certain people’s size, clothes, length of hair, etc. Truly for many of the people at the conference (both Westerners and Africans) it was the first time to see so many people who were different than themselves in culture, dress, worship style, etc. I enjoyed being part of it and feeling at home with multiple perspectives. Overall one of the best parts for me was spending more time getting to know some of the women from the Friends Church in Rwanda better. We spent time talking, singing one night, and several hours playing cards, dice and laughing together.

I was grateful to go to Nairobi with two Friends missionaries living in Kigali (a couple, Brad and Chelsea) for a couple days after the busy and socially-demanding conference. We were able to relax and have some quiet time in the beautiful garden of the Mennonite guesthouse where we stayed, as well as indulge ourselves in one of the many malls in Nairobi. It was almost a cross-cultural experience for us when we entered and found ourselves surrounded by a large variety of stores, escalators and elevators, restaurants and so many things we had almost forgotten about. There was even a cinema! We all agreed that we are happy with our simpler everyday lives here in Rwanda, but nevertheless enjoyed window shopping, eating a sub for lunch, catching a movie (“Hunger Games”!!) and savoring some frozen yogurt with toppings as an afternoon snack – all things that are NOT possible in Rwanda! But to prove that we were still in Africa (and do something else not possible in Rwanda) we went to an elephant orphanage and a giraffe center. So I got to pet a baby elephant, watch elephants get fed from giant bottles, and feed and kiss a giraffe (feeding it a biscuit with my mouth)!  J Wow. It was a quick but enjoyable time in Nairobi.

Yet I am grateful to be back with my students and hopefully will be able to quickly settle into teaching VERY beginners English. I also feel more connected with some people from the church and work who I was with at the conference, which is nice. There’s nothing like a 30-hour bus trip, living together in dorms and traveling to a new country to help with bonding!! I think it’s going to be a great last 2.5 months.

Rwandans at the conference singing and dancing - practicing for our part in the worship

My 2 new friends: (far L) Sylvie from Rwanda and (middle) Mary from India - all the Rwandan women/girls were SO impressed and envious of her long hair!!

Giraffe feeding time! Yay.

This young elephant was SO cute!

What do you think of when you think of Rwanda?

A woman being led away from the others when her crying turned to hysterical sobbing. A long, sad face and a weak “I’m fine” that sounds forced. Heart-wrenching personal testimonies on television. Marches to remember lost lives. Songs about a bad past and making a better future played countless times on tv and the radio.

This is the week where Rwandans “remember” the genocide against the Tutsi’s that began April 6, 1994. In the afternoon all workplaces are closed and there have been special programs on TV, discussions at the neighborhood level, marches to sites of mass killings, and  ceremonies to begin and close the week with speeches, music and time to be together to stand for a “better tomorrow.”

Despite all these public and government-planned activities, I don’t know if I would have known this was the genocide memorial week if I hadn’t been told (and didn’t turn on the TV). I say that because most people didn’t (and never do, really) show any of their emotions – even in regard to something as big as losing family members and perhaps being close to losing their own life 18 years ago. I think holding in emotions and appearing to be strong and not have any problems is very common in this country. Today as I sat at the closing ceremony in the rain, closely surrounded by many Rwandese people, I thought “the rain is showing these people’s emotions because they don’t cry.”

I’ve spent the week wanting people to open up, talk about their experience, or just cry to release the pain – if that would help. Not wanting to ask directly, I have asked my host family and coworkers few questions. But one day at work Rachel* (*name changed) brought up the Femmes en Dialogue (women in dialogue) groups, which help women who became widows or prisoner’s wives due to the genocide (thus both ethnic groups) reconcile together. I asked Rachel how she had the idea to start this group, and she looked at me and said “It’s a long story. It comes from my personal experience in the genocide.”

I didn’t pry but Rachel looked at me and went on to tell me about marrying her husband not long before the genocide started and no one wanting them to get married because they were of different ethnic groups. Yet they did and although Rachel’s life was threatened multiple times during the genocide she survived, thanks to her husband. The next 3.5 years involved refugee camps, having 2 children, and trying to build their life in a devastated Rwanda. Then all of a sudden her husband was arrested (supposed complicity in the genocide) and put in prison to await trial, as was custom. Now, 18 years later, he still is in prison and hasn’t been tried. 

Rachel now has 2 teenage children, a university degree, a job in the church (looks good on the outside) yet inside she has wounds that will take years to heal. When she was deeply hurt after the genocide, the Friends Church reached out to her and she received training in trauma healing. Afterward, she wanted to help other traumatized women so she started 9 of these women’s groups to bring together women who are neighbors, one of whose husband might have killed the other’s husband, and helps them through trauma healing to lasting reconciliation. No one would have thought it possible, but they have strong testimonies of living together in harmony now.

Most people think immediately of the genocide of 1994 when they think of Rwanda, and as such have a bad (and incorrect) picture of Rwanda. This makes sense, and I’ll admit I didn’t quite know what Rwanda would be like before I arrived…and hopefully if this was what you thought before I have helped change your image of Rwanda somewhat. But it is certainly a part of people’s (hidden) lives here, whether in wounds that never fully go away, being a widow, having a husband in prison, being an orphan, extreme poverty, etc. there are many effects of the genocide that people continue to face today. Yet people here are strong and determined, there has been a lot of progress in the domain of peace and reconciliation, and people are sharing about having hope and a better future. 

Many good things

Burundi was good, but hot. However spending time with MCCers made for good conversation (open and honest about our life and struggles here), special food (they have soft serve ice cream in Bujumbura!!), and lots of learning (after discussing MCC values and evaluating our program in Rwanda/Burundi during the retreat, all 3 of us SALTers went to another part of Burundi to see their MCC peace programs and other important things in the region). That region of Burundi also had some amazing waterfalls, which made me feel like I was back in the US on a vacation with my family (except here they sent an armed guard with us). It was great to have a quiet place to relax, stick my feet in the cool water and feel refreshed from the spray of the waterfall.

Me, Annie and Janelle at the waterfall in Burundi.

I was happy to come back to Kigali, although it will take some time to get used to teaching English to the new group of students. After teaching the old students myself for 2 months I had gotten to know them and we were able to talk together. However, few of the new students know any English so it’s going to be a bit more difficult. Thankfully the other English teacher can help when my simple Kinyarwanda isn’t sufficient and we can enjoy other activities, like playing soccer or cards, without much language at all. Yesterday was great because a couple old students came back to visit and we all played soccer together. Despite the heat, sun and high school boys calling out inappropriate things to me as we played, it was a great game and we were quite happy (and tired) at the end!

Some other good moments this past week include…getting to “show off” where I work to a MCC education coordinator from the US -- Mwana Nshuti prepared a welcome for him which included students asking him questions in English and singing “God is so Good” which I taught them (I was so proud of their English!)…listening to 2 Rwandan colleagues/friends as they openly shared about some struggles in their life (it’s so rare here to show any type of pain/sorrow)…and having one of my English classes try so hard to pronounce my name the “American way” (the TH sound isn’t a part of the French or Kinyarwanda languages so usually I’m “bay-ta-ni”).

Welcoming the visitor and singing

Moving On...

Last Friday was the much anticipated Mwana Nshuti graduation! It was a good, but long, day. We had 19 students who were graduating and receiving tailoring certificates. Many of the students hadn’t been coming regularly the past month or so since their program was basically finished, so it was great to have all the students together for our special day. The program consisted of the “usuals” for any ceremony here: singing church songs, traditional dance, speeches from the leader of the organization and other important guests and food (and Fanta). We also had a video that I made of photos and video clips from our academic year (which unfortunately didn’t go over too well because of the skylights in the church) and an English skit. I was so proud of the students who did the skit; the plot was my idea but they used all their own words and certainly did some improvising. We also had a student read an original poem about the program and another read a short speech in English. The student reading in English did so well that the headmaster of the high school connected with the church (the church that founded our program and where the event was held, also where I worship on Sunday) offered her a scholarship to study for free at the school! Way to go Vestine!

I hope the students who graduated will be able to find a place to work as tailors (or start/join a sewing association/cooperative) or a place to receive additional vocational training (i.e. cooking, computers, etc.) or continue their classical education. Already 3 students have been able to return to school (4 if you count Vestine who should start next week) and 2 have found other vocational training programs to gain more skills. I’m happy for them as they move onward in their lives, although I will miss them! But it seems I have an eager batch of new students who are happy to have me teach them English, so that should be good!!

Other highlights from the past week:

=Visiting Ityanga, one of my coworkers. It was a slight adventure trying to find her house and overall the whole afternoon was an accomplishment because she only speaks Kinyarwanda – so our simple, slow conversation was especially meaningful.

=Playing goofy games (like sneaking food on someone’s plate when they aren’t looking) with my host mother and sister when the power went out during dinner

=Making no-bake cookies at Joyce’s house with her children, and proving to them that charcoal cookers (the Rwandan stove) work just fine! (It is typically assumed North Americans can’t use charcoal cookers, wash their clothes by hand, or use cold water for washing…but I’m trying to show people that isn’t the case!)

As much as I feel comfortable here, I still generally continue to wish I were closer to people here. It’s not a big deal because I’m leaving in a few months, and I certainly have many lasting memories from time spent with people here, but this past week was great because I visited 2 wonderful and fun Rwandan women and also randomly bumped into a former coworker who I hadn’t seen in awhile so we got to talk too!

Teachers and students with their certificates (unfortunately a couple left before we got the photo taken...and we were under orders not to smile, as is customary here...the students were happy, don't worry!)

My baking helpers, Bridget (almost 4) and Jessica (8)!
(The charcoal cooker is in the bottom right corner, not very visible though)

Preparing/eating the cookies!

I am looking forward to getting to know the new students at Mwana Nshuti and working with them (bragging point: I already know almost half of their names (maybe 20/50)…thanks to much photo taking and ordering!). I have gotten over my desire to keep teaching my old students, finally, and had 1 good English class with the new students who are eager to learn. But first, I am looking forward to a slight break – we have our MCC retreat in Burundi this week. 


Blessings!

Safari time!

Rwanda is a small country in East Africa, not one that is known for its safaris and astounding game parks. However, Akagera is the national park in Rwanda that has some of the big animals one thinks of as animals you’d see during an “African safari”. There aren’t any lions, leopards or rhinos, and only a few elephants so we didn’t see any, but I have nothing to compare it to and I was excited to see the hippos, monkeys, impala (and other types of antelopes), buffalos, warthogs, zebras and giraffe! It wasn’t really a traditional safari, as we went in our own SUV with a guide from the park joining us in the vehicle, but ironically enough our driver’s name was Safari! (He is one of our favorite taxi drivers in Kigali and graciously took us on the 12 hour trip from 5am to 5pm!) Our guide was pleasant and was excellent at sighting and identifying animals, which was helpful. Unfortunately the park is smaller than it used to be, and there are some poachers, which means some of the animals have really low populations and are at risk.

A lot of the park was covered in tall grasses and bush and trees which meant fewer animals lived in those areas – primarily the impala and other antelope-type animals. As this was the part of the park we entered, we were still excited anytime we saw a herd of impala and stopped the car frequently to take photos out the window! One of the lakes was home to several hippos, so they were the first “big animal” sighting and we daringly got out of the car to photograph the big guys standing or laying in the mud near the water. The monkeys and warthogs were fun to see but incredibly skittish so I didn’t get any photos. After many kilometers of beautiful trees, grasses and lots of impala, and going off-roading once to greet the buffalo (we stayed in the car for that one!), we were excited to reach the northern part with savanna grasses and one luscious valley where many animals were found – notably: topi (cross between antelope and buffalo?), zebra and giraffe!!! The giraffe are incredibly immense and majestic up close; we were within 20m of them in the car and maybe 70m when we exited the car! I really don’t have words to describe them but it was almost overwhelming. The zebra were also quite beautiful; it was a bit unreal to see the zebra, topi and giraffe all in the valley together. Not quite “Lion King” but I definitely felt like I was in some documentary about African animals!

The best way to show you my “safari” experience is definitely through photos, so here you go! 

A hungry (or tired?) hippo!?

Wouldn't want to come across these buffalo out of a car!

The male impala have horns and one male is the leader for a herd of females
 - until another challenges him and takes over that responsibility.

Joyce and me in Akagera park.

Zebras!!!

Topi and zebras in the valley - see the baby zebra in the middle?? 

So majestic...

Why did the zebra cross the road? (And why did the zebras leave the park?)

For me, it was a great experience to see these animals in the wild and not in the zoo! It was amazing how close we could get to some of them to take photos, and just to be able to observe them in their natural habitat. Another huge highlight of the day was sharing it with Joyce (my Rwandese friend and former language tutor). She was incredibly happy to be able to go with us (very few Rwandans go to Akagera, probably due to distance and/or price), and I was happy our car was fuller and to have time to be with her. Seeing her joy when she saw the lakes (apparently she really likes big bodies of water) and the trees that reminded her of growing up in Uganda made me so happy. People here don’t readily talk about their lives, and the past is rarely spoken about, so I loved hearing a bit about Joyce’s childhood in a village in Uganda helping her parents raise a big herd of African cattle.

It was a one-of-a-kind experience to see the animals, and it was great to learn some about my friend’s life and life in the village in Rwanda/Uganda. I won’t forget that day.

The following day was an Ultimate Frisbee tournament here in Kigali with players from Rwanda (expat and local), Uganda and Burundi playing together, which was pretty unique as well. I enjoyed the contrast to sitting in the car all day; the typical sunburn and sore legs following a tournament are well worth the fun of running hard and playing my favorite sport.

So…the past few days were busy and amazing, and there are more adventures to come this week as we prepare the closing ceremony for the students at Mwana Nshuti that will be held on Friday. Life is good!