Discovering my Reality – Many Similarities and Differences…

This last week and a half since I’ve written can pretty easily be summed up as me beginning to grow into my life here, although it has meant coming to terms with some things as well. Here are a few similarities and differences to give you a sense:

Differences

·         Main method of transport = walking; also many moto taxis (expensive by local standards though) and buses (think 15-passenger vans with 20 people) – I often appreciate the time to think and see new things, though the hills and slight altitude sometimes get the best of me and my backpack with my heavy laptop!

·         Timing/scheduling is loose – it is always a surprise to see how things work here at work regarding schedules and times for things…the general rule seems to be that timing is flexible. Ex. English class starts at 1:30pm but usually it’s closer to 2pm and occasionally after. This is allowed, of course, because we aren’t a real school and there is only 1 group of students and 1-2 subjects each morning/afternoon. Once, though, I found class already in session at 1:35pm when I arrived! Oops!

·         Indirect conversations – People rarely directly say they want/need or don’t want anything, they make statements and hope/assume the other person understands what they mean. (This is a challenge for me; I’m used to being more clear and upfront about things!) ex. A visitor at my home asks if I like bananas. I say “Yes” so he passes me the plate of bananas and expects me to eat one. I figured he meant in general!

·         Walking out of the room to answer your cell phone during class, a meeting, etc. is acceptable/normal (not for students but adults)

Similarities

·         Sharing food – many fun moments at work this past week or so…I’m being a good Mennonite and enjoying sharing food with my coworkers! (one story to follow)

·         Community – playing sports, laughing, sharing stories, prayer and worship (these all transcend language and culture more than I can say and make me happy in small ways everyday!)

·         English – there are a surprising number of people who speak English here. I hardly have the occasion to speak French (many who know French also know English and prefer to practice/improve their English) so I’m pretty lucky that I don’t have to work very hard to have basic conversations with people – I just have to make sure I don’t speak as quickly as is my custom!!

·         Visiting friends is practiced and enjoyed - This week Janelle and Yolanda (two young women with MCC in Burundi) came to visit us MCCers in Kigali so we had a good time shopping, going to a soccer game, splurging on meals out, swapping host family stories, and talking in really fast English! Also, we had an art party at Ruth and Krystan’s where everyone (including myself, somehow!) brought a piece of art related to the theme: “grow”.

One overarching realization: I am an outsider. Honestly I think I was (am?) hoping this weren’t the case! As much as I can have meaningful conversations with people, share stories and laugh, I will never be Rwandese! It can be good, though, since I can look from a new angle, learn new things and have helpful exchanges with people here. I am reminded of that as I venture downtown and get many people trying to sell me things at once, or young men try to take my photo as I’m walking down the street. Grr.

At the same time, I am so blessed by the people and life here. I am learning to stop and notice things, greet everyone and ask how they are doing, not get frustrated when things don’t go according to plan, and always keep God in the picture. I enjoy trying to live and look at life differently, although my two highlights of the past week were times that reminded me of life in the US.

#1. Ultimate Frisbee!!!!!! Thanks to the "Kigali life" internet group, I found out there are people who play Ultimate Frisbee at a ‘sport club’ (i.e. place that has a pool, tennis courts and a soccer field that you can pay a small fee to use…there aren’t any parks or free public places for sports, aside from an occasional soccer field at a school). So I went last Sunday and found a bunch of Rwandese young men, a few Rwandese young women, and a couple Americans and entered into one of the fastest games of Ultimate Frisbee I’ve played recently! I am looking forward to the exercise and a familiar sport – and possibly making some new friends.

#2. Sharing food! So one day last week Jonas (director of Mwana Nshuti, and the one who has a desk abutting mine) mentioned he hadn’t been home for lunch. Since it was probably 3pm, I figured he was hungry so I offered him some of the peanuts and raisins I had in a Ziploc bag in my desk. He seemed highly confused about the raisins so I yelled across the room to Cecile to see if she knew what raisins were. She responded, “I love raisins!” I promptly got up and brought her the bag of peanuts and raisins and told her to take some. She was so happy! (Raisins are a bit pricey and only available at “supermarkets”, where many Rwandese people probably don’t shop much/ever) Jonas proceeded to eat some more raisins and invite the others who were at work but not in the room to come try our food. I was certainly not expecting such a response and chain of events when I offered the food – it was so fun!!

This week I’m looking forward to resuming language study (for various reasons we haven’t studied for 2 weeks), celebrating some happy version of Halloween in English class, and hearing Cecile preach at church on Sunday. We also have an MCC retreat from Nov 1-6 which I am really looking forward to! I’d appreciate your prayers for me to know how to be helpful to the people I am living and working with, continuing to develop my understanding of the language and culture, and knowing how to respond to (or accept?) the struggles and unmet needs of individuals and even large-scale things here. Friends Peace House is operating on a very small budget since their donations and funding has been cut over the past few years, so it is a struggle to know what will happen in the next year for this organization.

I am happy, healthy and learning many new things everyday…and I hope you are too!

Blessings!!

Rain, pizza and dance parties!

October here means rainy season. Some days it is still sunny and hot (mid 80s) but the past two days it rained for the majority of the day and thus was quite cold (60s? haven’t seen any thermometers!). Yesterday I had to agree with all the locals and admit I was cold – halfway home for lunch the wind and rain picked up so my legs were soaked and I decided not to finish my trek! Only 5 students made it to class that afternoon (basically the best ones), and one came wrapped up in a blanket. We had a nice time talking together, though, since the English teacher didn’t want to teach a lesson so I had 1.5 hours with them by myself and my activities (i.e. “non-lesson” things!).

Let me back up to the week before this past one. My host father was at a work conference in Nairobi, so I was able to spend more time with my host mother and Vestine. I was initially a bit worried about communication (their English is better than my Kinyarwanda, but not very good!), but we managed fine when we each used all our skills in both languages! It ended up being a fairly quiet week, with two major highlights revolving around food: 1) my host mother prepared an interesting lunch one day (hot dog buns, a dish of cooked smallish pieces of meat, and a slightly warm dish of cheese and tomatoes), which I realized was her attempt to duplicate “sandwiches” because I tried explaining my typical lunch to her and had forgotten that it would entail her making something similar for me; 2) buying a dish of ice cream for Edward (my host father’s driver) and Vestine at the airport while we waited to pick up my host father – one dish, three spoons, and one excited Bethany sharing one of her favorite foods with Rwandese people (ice cream is a strange concept for them, but they seemed to enjoy it!).

Last week was “back to normal” since my host father was back. I visited another church (Kinyarwanda service with plenty of music and energy), went to a nearby province to visit the land my family owns (and go to the cheaper market there – where I successfully bought a shirt and taught some boys the English words for foods and body parts I knew in Kinyarwanda), and …celebrated my birthday! I already knew birthdays weren’t cause for (much/any) celebration in Rwanda, due to families not having the means to celebrate or not knowing people’s actual birthdays, but I was perfectly okay with a low-key day. I enjoyed the “party” with my English class in the afternoon (I brought in some local treats – a chocolate bar, peanuts, and sweet bread which somehow got called “cake-bread”) and was sung to in French, English and Kinyarwanda 4 different times! Oh and I got to go out with Ruth, Krystan and Annie for pizza and ice cream for dinner! Woohoo!! (Not Chicago-style stuffed pizza or Brusters ice cream, but I feel quite lucky to live in a place where I can still eat my favorite foods on my birthday!)

Losing my watch and having my camera break within the same week challenged me to reflect on what is important here. I had already been wondering how I should live, as an American who is now in a developing country, and these losses spurred the question along in my mind. I often tell myself that if people here can live without it, so can I…but I realize that might not be too realistic because of our different culture, expectations, education, personalities, etc. The lack of a watch and a camera just illustrate some of the many things I have been discovering aren’t normal for people here to have/do, but to me are quite routine. In the short term, I can certainly do without a watch and camera – my cell phone tells the time and I will take mental snapshots until I get a new camera. I am still a bit obsessive about the time – it might take all year to break me of my habit of checking the time often and worrying about being more than 5 minutes late for something! (Oh and several days ago I found my watch and have resumed wearing it faithfully!)

My favorite few hours in these past 2 weeks, probably because they were a time when I was able to work closely alongside my coworkers and feel like I had an important job to do (sometimes I don’t feel all that busy/needed/helpful here yet!), was during the special event we hosted for 60+ visitors from Kenya who were interested in learning about peace programs in Rwanda, especially with youth/schools. The work of Friends Peace House and the Peace Clubs at the Friends Church Schools in the neighborhood were something they wanted to hear about so we got to host an event! While we were waiting (about an hour) for the visitors to show up, I was excited to be involved in the commotion and spent the final few minutes outside with Cecile (assistant of the Coordinator of Friends Peace House, aka organizer of the event) waiting for the buses. I was trying to help her not be nervous or stressed, and told her how excited I was. I could see she was grateful, and as the buses pulled in, she took my hand as we walked over to greet them - - I’d heard/seen this was common among friends in Africa but hadn’t experienced it firsthand! (It felt weird but made me really happy.) During the event, I got to help greet and seat the visitors, pass out drinks and be the photographer. That didn’t stop me from dancing when everyone was invited to join the girls doing traditional Rwandese dances and the floor became packed with people! I may have no clue how to do the dance, but neither did any of the Kenyans! Only in Africa does a special event open and close with music and spontaneous dancing by the whole audience (hosts, children and visitors)! Dance party, anyone? Come on over!

Due to a lack of a personal camera, I don’t have the best photos for you this week but I do have a few. Enjoy!

My family, with my host father's mother who is here visiting. I am so thankful that I was placed in this family and that they call me their daughter.

Some of the students after working on the land/in the garden. (they have unofficial yellow/blue uniforms, hence the similarity in clothes)

Feeding each other "cake-bread" on my birthday. ...It's great to see that these girls are good friends, because they come from a difficult home situation (extremely poor, maybe only one parent, etc.). Occasionally we get to laugh and have fun together, and it's great!

I love the girls at Mwana Nshuti! They seem to like me too :) Luckily their school year goes until February, so we will be able to communicate better as the year progresses. (They know a lot of English considering they've only been studying since March, though!)

I miss you all! Hope you are doing well. 

Ode to One Month in Kigali (when written, 9/29/11)

I am sitting in my room with wet hair, cold hands, and a new(!) piece of African fabric wrapped like a scarf over my fleece…yes, I am cold. But I am also quite happy – I just came back from an amazing game of football (soccer) with the girls and teachers at Mwana Nshuti! We played so well, even in the rain, and I wish I had been able to document it. The walk home was also delightfully peaceful…I treaded gingerly down the hill on the rock/dirt road, watching the river that was forming in the ‘canyon’ in the middle of some parts, and not once was I accosted by curious children!

Kigali ode-

• One month ago I knew how to say “muraho” (hello), “amakuru” (how are you?) and “murakoze” (thank you), thanks to some friends at church in Chicago, but now I know many words and phrases and can occasionally even say complete, correct sentences!
• One month ago I met my host family and spent a slightly awkward first evening together, now I have been introduced by my host father at church as a member of his family!
• One month ago I knew no one in Kigali, now I have places I can go in the evening for weekly Bible study and music, or just hanging out, and I know some Rwandese people I feel comfortable asking questions about their culture!
• One month ago I wasn’t sure what I would be doing here, but now I know I’ll be co-teaching English, using my creativity and knowledge of another culture to teach the girls English and more about life, and capacity building (helping the staff with writing/website tasks and hopefully helping others develop the necessary tools to continue this in the future) at Friends Peace House (organization that Mwana Nshuti is under). Oh, and I have a desk of my own!!
• One month ago I was nervous about teaching and didn’t know the situation of the school/students, now I have met the girls and teachers, seen how easy going and pleased (with me being there) they are, and spent some bonding time with the girls playing soccer and singing songs together!
• Kigali is a beautiful city, and the people here are really great! Hopefully I will continue to have good conversations with the people I know, meet other cool people, and learn about the culture and how to navigate the city (man am I used to the grid and landmarks of Chicago!)

·         I have had so many moments of breaking into a wide smile and being so grateful for whatever little thing just happened to make me so happy…the only such memory I’m currently remembering is: Greeting a group of people sitting outside a boutique near my house – they (I  think) asked me to come over and shake hands rather than my “good afternoon!” as I pass by – so now they are my “regulars” who I will always smile and greet and their bright faces brighten mine each time!

So you want to be an African?

Here are some cultural knowledge I’ve been gaining…not that I’m anywhere near an expert yet!

• Greet people you know (handshake or “hug”) every time you see them upon arriving, or upon leaving (so maybe 4 times per day with people at work!!). If you see a friend when you are on the street but are in a hurry – still go greet the person and take time to ask how they are doing! (relationships are more important than tasks/time!!!!)
•  If you are going in the same direction as someone, wait a few minutes for them and then walk together
• Being old and fat (at least not thin) are valued (at least by adults with children!)
• Here you have to put up with regulations from the government (theoretically aimed toward “modernization” I believe) that don’t make a lot of sense – last week it was announced that everyone in Kigali must paint their tin roof red! (Not good for people who are struggling to provide food and medicine to their family…)
• Work/scheduling is pretty laid back – I haven’t quite figured it out yet, but it seems a bit weird being a co-teacher and not planning lessons with the other teacher (or even planning much at all!)

I’d appreciate your prayers as I continue to settle in at work and learn my place, for patience and the right words to say as I learn how to deal with the language barrier between myself and my students, and for courage to make a fool of myself as much as necessary in order to fit in, learn and grow!

Speaking of making a fool of myself, here are my best 2 language mishaps (and, in turn, laughs) thus far:

1.   Calling my arms “inkoko” (chickens) rather than “ukuboko”
2.  Thinking the words for one of the songs at the International Day of Peace celebration were “peace, beans and joy in my heart” because I was familiar with the word for beans (ibishyimbo) and not gladness (ibyisimo).

It’s your lucky day! I even have a few photos for you:

This is the office building of Friends Peace House, the organization that Mwana Nshuti is under.  I spend about half my time in the offices and the other half with the students.

At the peace march on the Int’l Day of Peace, 9/21/11...it wasn't too far of a march but we were actually walking really FAST so I was happy to arrive at the stadium for the program where we could sit!

Apparently in Rwanda the military are seen as a force for peace(!?) so the military was at the march/celebration and the famous “military band” lead some music in the beginning that made everyone get up and sing/dance along! - The program had many other artists and important speakers so it was a 4 hour affair! Not bad, but I couldn't understand much of it...

Here are the students having enjoyed the “presents” they received – Samuel, the sewing teacher, handed out some of the supplies I brought to each of the students!]

Peace!
-Bethany